Are Satanists Infiltrating Christian Dating Websites?

As a heavy metal fan, I invariably find myself included in many clandestine meetings relating to Satanic activities. During one of these meetings with a particularly radical group, I heard a few Satanists discussing their plans to infiltrate religion-based dating websites. I am not a Satanist, but as a guest to this gathering, I was allowed to interact with one of the cult's lieutenants. Below, I explain parts of their plan, but maintain an effort to keep sensitive details confidential.

Surrounded by moths, the din of cicadas, and a weak fire to illuminate the rituals, I shuddered - partly from the cold and partly from anxiety over seeing lieutenant X (name omitted for secrecy). X is a very high ranking member of this particular cult, and though the black robe I was given for the evening provided some warmth, the experience was still rather uncomfortable for me. A mutual acquaintance of X and I had invited me to this event because she overhead me listening to heavy metal and knew that meant I would be supportive of Satanism. She told me I should listen to the cult's plans relating to online dating in attempt to get me to join them.

After finishing their ceremonies, the cult members started discussing the plan. They were considering infiltrating Christian dating websites with the aim of creating the facade of a Christian lifestyle and to corrupt Christians. At first, a few of them were joking that because they believed in Jesus, God, and most of all Satan, that they were actually Christians and belonged on the website. X was not amused, being of a saturnine temperament, and explained the reasons for this plan.

X elaborated that as one of the many Satanic cults all over America that definitely exist, the cult had a duty to hide itself and to undermine Christianity. By entering into fraudulent relationships with Christians, the Satanists would be able to trick people into thinking that they were open minded and loving members of society just like all Christians are. In order to appear more normal they would also join Christian dominated political movements like the Tea Party. That way, as they were stockpiling gold and guns to save America from the international banking conspiracy no one would think that they were actually "crazy satanists."

The lieutenant went into much more detail but I found his speech difficult to follow because I was getting quite tired. By this point it was around 2 a.m. and I was exhausted from my usual afternoon routine of listening to heavy metal, fornicating, and drinking beers. The last thing X emphasized though was that by joining these religious dating websites it would hide how bigoted and close-minded this particular Satanic cult was. You see, they valued a person's worth based only on whether that person was also a member of their cult. They had such an inherent hatred for humanity that the cult would encourage members to only marry within the cult because they felt that other individuals failed to live up to their superior moral system.

As you can imagine this belief system only added to my discomfort in attending their meeting. Not being a Satanist meant that though I was a guest, these people would not view me as morally equal to them. I find it hard to fathom that there are so many people in the world that would only even consider dating member of their own religion, so I decided not to join the cult. I will not say how many people were at the meeting or add any other details because everyone knows how well-connected and powerful such Satanic cults are.